Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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