New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
