drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
barbara walters just said penis...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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