We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
50% drunk capacity currently
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize