definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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