yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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