if you like me you must not know who I am
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
