Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
