Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
