New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
