Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize