you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
