Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
