how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
