things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
