Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
