Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Come see our sink grown plant.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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