I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
