I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Alive.
So much puke
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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