i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
birth control should be required to get into college
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
