a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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