I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
