ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
