eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
