yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
