I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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