I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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