Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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