Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
