is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
