i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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