I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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