dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
