Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
