I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
How naked do you want me to be?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
