So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
