he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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