He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
