I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
