Screwed.edu
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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