her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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