After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
