Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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