I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
