Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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