using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
