He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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