i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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