I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
