Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
