I'm going to jail i love you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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