is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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