I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
