it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
