Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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