I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize