Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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