I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
