sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
