I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
