All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need moral support for this bender
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
