no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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