you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
