put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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