mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
