I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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