I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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