so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
