and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
