So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
