Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize