Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
