I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
