Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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