I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
