Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
