There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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